Scott Show, We Have A Problem
by Rosethethief
Summary: Scott attends his seventh annual Total Drama reunion party much to his disdain... However, he soon begins to hear strange voices coming from one of the most "unusual" places. Parody fic of the short film Clive Houston, We Have A Problem. Rated M, but not smut. Reason for rating found inside.


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Total Drama or the short film _Clive Houston, We Have A Problem. _Both belong to their respective owners.**

**Firstly, I just want to clarify that this isn't smut. It's rated M for a pretty obvious reason, plus the film this fic was based off of is also rated M, so it only made sense to give it the same rating. Basically, I wanted to write this because James Wallis, (Scott's voice actor), was actually in this short film as one of the supporting characters, thus this disturbingly weird idea resurfaced. **

**But anyway, hope you guys like this and please be sure to R & R!**

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><p><span><strong>Scott Show, We Have A Problem<strong>

It was Scott Show's seven year reunion after having competed on the show Total Drama, and needless to say, he wasn't all too ecstatic or _thrilled_ to be here… For one thing, he had been hated on by pretty much _everyone_ on the show, as well as the fanbase in general. However, it was to be expected, considering he had been a total douchebag in the competition with his manipulation and scheming; he couldn't really complain about it, though. Because it brought in the ratings that Chris McLean wanted, and that alone made the devious ginger smirk to himself a bit: if it hadn't been for him, all the drama he caused, then season four wouldn't have been _nearly_ as successful or widely viewed by audiences everywhere. He took pride in his contribution to national television, even when seeing all of his former castmates here made him sick…

Scott was sitting alone on one of the barstools of the bar, casually sipping his glass of scotch quietly: since his seven years of non-competing, he had taken up the liberty of taking up some business classes over at a nice university in his area, earning a degree and proceeding to become the head CEO of his own cooperation. The suit and tie he was wearing right now just acted as bragging rights to everyone else, while he continued to empty his glass clean. The ginger didn't hesitate on ordering up _another_ glass of scotch afterwords, because if he got drunk, then at _least_ he could drown out his feelings of disdain for being here much easier.

As the redneck continued to drink, he saw a _familiar_ face among the crowd of people: Dawn was wearing a _nice_ evening gown, not too revealing in terms of her skin, but with light blue silk and a couple of sequins embedded on. The moonchild didn't even notice the CEO scowling right at her, as she was too busy preoccupying herself by making friendly conversation with Zoey. As the two girls giggled and walked off, Scott could've _swore_ he heard something coming from Dawn… Like a small voice, even.

_"__Is that him Dawn? I say you go over there right now and slap him hard across the face! You could of had all that money if it wasn't for him! He's just a sleazy businessman now, who doesn't even care for mother earth or any of its wonderful creatures!"_

Hearing this, Scott nearly spat out his drink, eyes widened in confusion over what he just heard: he knew the voice didn't come out of Dawn's mouth directly, because it was even too high _pitched_ to match her sweet and gentle voice. Still baffled and admittedly a little frightened, he put his glass of scotch down, wondering if his alcohol intact was at all the influence.

Not long after Dawn had left, the ginger saw _another_ familiar face sit down at the barstool right next to him: even after some of the betrayal he felt after Courtney had hurt him like that, he had to admit, she was still attractive as _hell… _The way her sweet, sweet perfume clouded up his nose with its aroma made him feel _very_ antsy, as he watched the bartender hand Courtney her glass of wine.

"Thank you." As she turned around and took a sip, she noticed the redneck starring down at her lustfully. Knitting her eyebrows together, she just scowled and glared right back at him. "What are you staring at me for, you perverted creep?! Don't you have any kitchen rats to shoot with that white trash family of yours?!"

Scott was taken back _immediately_ by the brunette's intense tongue-lashing towards him, but then took another sip of his scotch, not really _too_ surprised that her attitude hadn't changed. "Oh, nothing that _you_ would care about, since you're so heartless. I actually think that your ass needs surgery, cause it's so damn _uptight_ all the time!"

"Dumb hick!" growled the CIT.

"Uptight, stick-in-the-mud prep!" Scott shot back.

Courtney gasped once she heard his retort, but then just stuck her nose up at him and turned away; the redneck smirked deviously at her, knowing he had won and ended the argument. Once he continued to drink his alcoholic beverage, the CEO heard _another_ voice.

_"__I say you just move away from him, Courtney. It's clear to me that he's just a bottom feeder compared to rich girls like you, with little chances of ever winning you back… You're way out of his league, while he's just some disgustingly, greasy redneck ginger with the IQ of 10. Even with the business suit on, I don't want his dirty little ding-a-ling anywhere near me… So let's just move."_

Scott looked back at Courtney, seeing that she was still turned faced away from him. Puzzled, he scratched his head and confronted the brunette about it. "Umm, did you just insult me?"

Courtney turned back around quickly to face him again, only scowling once more. "No! Of course I didn't, you _idiot! _I'm not in the mood to fight anymore, in case you haven't noticed!" She then immediately turned her head back away, leaving Scott to just stir around some more in the awkwardness.

_"__Really, Courtney. I don't know what you saw in this guy… He's a total douchebag, and I bet he doesn't even wipe his own ass after he flushes! You deserve much better than that, maybe even someone with a lot of money…"_

Scott flinched a bit once he heard the voice insult him some more, growing _more_ irritated with it. "Ok, Courtney. Just what kind of shit are you _pulling_ with me here?! I'm not that dumb of a hick as you _claim_ me to be, and I certainly _do_ wipe my ass after I flush!"

Courtney found herself glaring back at him once more, snarling in annoyance. "Scott, I haven't been saying _anything_ to piss you off! So shut the hell up! Also, thanks for putting that _disgusting_ imagery in my head! You truly are an appalling person!"

"Whatever, lady!" he snarled right back, crossing his arms. "Just stop it already, Ok?!"

_"__Down here, asshole."_

The redneck looked down and followed the voice… Coming _right_ from Courtney's crotch. Scott felt his eye twitch up, before throwing the rest of his scotch to the ground, convinced that he was _now_ going crazy.

_"__Listen here, you stupid hick! If you don't leave me and Courtney alone right now, we're going to both personally sue you and your family for everything you own! And file a restraining order for stalking and press charges against you for attempted sexual harassment! Do I make myself clear?!"_

"Umm, yes…" the CEO muttered in fear, wondering if this was all just a curse of some kind put on him for all of his bad actions. "Chrystal clear…"

Courtney's eyes just widened at the sight of _where_ Scott was adjusting his eyes, before starring him down full of fury! She slapped him across the face, right before she dumped the rest of her red wine on him! Steaming with anger and disgust, the brunette soon stormed away from the bar with a huff!

Scott just looked on as he watched her leaving, calling back at her to try and explain. "I'm sorry! It was just talking to me, I swear! I ain't crazy! It's the truth! Ya just gotta believe me!"


End file.
